Evil has a pacifier
by alexmonalisa
Summary: Aka the adventures of baby-sitting. Post X1/AU. ROGAN


**A/N: I wrote this awhile ago. I'm posting it in honour of my cousin who gave birth a few days ago to her first child, a little baby girl. **

* * *

Logan knew he was in trouble the moment Marie said the words 'we need to talk'. He winced and sat down on their bed, waiting for the inevitable punishment. He wished he'd been in trouble, forgotten an anniversary or something. But what she was asking was... unacceptable.

"You want me to..."

He paused, glanced at the closed door across the room and waved towards it. Marie nodded slowly, before continuing to pack her things.

"Logan, it's for two days... barely. I'll be back tomorrow night."

"Do you have to go?"

He knew he was being childish but what she was asking was not possible. He watched as she sighed and turned to him, hand on her hip.

"Yes, I have to go. It's Storm's hen party and since she's having it in the city, we're staying over at a hotel. Therefore none of the girls can do this and you have to. Besides, she's your daughter. It's only right you baby-sit."

"What about Hank?"

"For god's sake Logan, you're her father; you need to bond with her. It's not like you've never been alone with her."

Logan sighed and shrugged. Sure once or twice he'd been alone with the kid, but Marie was always near in case of emergency. But that didn't make him a bad father; he was just very busy being a part of the school while Marie played the part of doting mother. But having to look after the kid without Marie, or any female help for that matter, sounded like too much.

"Marie..."

"I have to go. You'll be fine."

She walked over to him and pressed a kiss on his lips. He put his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. She giggled and pushed away, picked up her bag and turned to the door.

"Love you."

"Love you too Marie."

She smiled and walked out of the room. Logan groaned and stood up, walking towards the closed door at the end of their room. He opened the door carefully and stepped in slowly. He walked over to crib and gazed down at the kid. His kid. Her little legs were stretched out and her arms tucked close to her chest as she breathed in and out. He smiled and carefully ran his fingers through her soft brown hair. Her eyes flickered before snapping open to reveal curious hazel eyes. Logan retracted his hand as if burned and stared at the kid. She blinked twice and tilted her head to the side. She was studying him and for a one year old, she had a very piercing gaze. He attempted to smile and leaned over the crib.

"Hey kid, ya hungry?"

She blinked a few times again and moved a hand to her mouth. Logan scratched the back of his head and patted her nappy clad bottom. She felt clean and he couldn't smell anything meaning Marie had changed her this morning. He stared at the kid and then watched in horror as her bottom lip began to tremble.

"Shit." He muttered.

Just then the waterworks began and Logan cursed Hank for even thinking about proposing to Storm. He looked back at his daughter as she gripped the crib and stood on wobbly legs, wailing loudly and hurting his sensitive hears. He reached out and picked her up, cradling her to his chest. He rubbed her back in an attempt to sooth her with no success. He was not going to do baby talk. He was the Wolverine and no teeny little kid was going to make him go all sappy. He moved her so that he could look at her face and set his own face to a scowl. She stopped crying for a second, looked at his facial expression before screeching. Logan winced and placed her back into the crib. He took a sniff and checked that he was alone before standing over the crib.

"Bailey? What wrong? Is little baby Bailey hungry? Baby want her bottle?"

Bailey giggled through her tears and reached out with chubby hands. Logan picked her back up and wiped her tears. Walking out of the room, he headed towards the kitchen, shaking his head.

"Kid, you are bad for my image."

* * *

Logan sat on his favourite chair, finger tips pressed together, watching and waiting. Bailey sat in her playpen, little eyes focused on him, her hands ripping her purple teddy to shreds. Every now and then her fingers would stop, and she'd lift the teddy to her mouth and rip a limb or some other part off with her teeth. Well, tooth. He supposed he should have felt intimidated. But the Wolverine would never let a one year old get the best of him. Sure, she had got him to talk baby-talk but that's where he drew the line. He tensed as she suddenly flung her teddy, the broken thing flopped pathetically to the floor, and she turned to him with what he swore was a smirk. After one sniff he knew why.

"Aww, fuck!" groaned Logan.

"Fuck!" screeched Bailey.

Logan rolled his eyes and carefully picked Bailey up.

"What did I tell about acting like a parrot, kid? Your mother nearly divorced me when she heard you say 'shit'."

Bailey giggled and wiggled in Logan's grip. Logan took her over to her changing table and removed the diaper slowly. As quickly as he could, he held his breath, and began cleaning. It went better than last time he tried and ended up with her peeing all over him. Once the new diaper was on, he picked her up and pressed a kiss to her head. She giggled and sucked her thumb, staring at him with her big brown eyes. He carried her to her playpen and tried to put her back down but she shrieked and clung to his shirt. He rolled his eyes and sat on the chair with her on his lap. Within two seconds of sitting down, she wiggled from his grasp and began using him as her own personal climbing frame. He growled but that didn't stop her.

"Bailey, no."

"No." She repeated, continuing to use his head as leverage to vault herself over the chair.

He reached up to wrap an arm around her waist and was rewarded with a bite to his head.

"No!" she shrieked.

"Come on baby girl. Don't be difficult."

She allowed herself to go limp, making her little body slip back into his lap, her face set in a pout. He sighed and shook his head. Marie never believed him when he said their child was evil. Of course whenever Marie was around, the kid became the perfect child. Even when she had chewed up his leather jacket, Marie had shrugged and simply said that the kid was teething and needed something to chew. Right, like Logan actually believed that. The kid had it out for him, he knew she did. A knock on the door broke him from his thoughts and he placed her carefully in her playpen. He stomped over to the door and yanked it open. Scott stood by the door, with a bag held in front of him.

"What?" snapped Logan.

"Marie called. She said to ask Hank if you'd given Bailey her vitamins. Hank said no, so I brought the vitamins to you."

Logan growled and snatched the bag from Scott, who leaned to the side to see past Logan.

"Something you need, Cyke?"

"Er... did you ever notice your play pen has a hole?"

Logan frowned and looked behind him. There was indeed a hole at the left corner of the play pen. There was also a lack of a child in the play pen. Logan cursed and turned to Scott.

"Later Scooter."

Before Scott could reply he slammed the door closed and looked around the room for his kid. There was silence, not even a gurgle or a giggle and he began to panic.

"Bailey... come here kid."

He waited but nothing. Taking a deep breath, he crouched down and sniffed. Under the bed came the faint scent of baby powder, vanilla and a mixture of his and Marie's scent. Lying flat on his stomach he reached under the bed until he latched onto her leg and pulled her out. She started screeching and tried to claw her way back under but Logan got a firm grip on her waist. He tugged her out and sighed seeing her covered in dust. He headed into her room, put her in her crib and walked towards the en suite bathroom. He filled the bath with lukewarm water and placed her baby bath seat in the water. He rolled up his sleeves for the inevitable splash fest and went to get her. He sighed when he saw her. She was sitting in her crib, bare bottom and currently ripping her diaper to shreds.

"Bailey!" he warned.

She stopped and glared at him. He tried to pull it away from her but it ripped and bits of fluff floated to the ground. He growled causing her to scream at him. He picked her up and carried her to the bath when he felt it. Warm liquid trickling down his side. He closed his eyes and prayed for strength. He held her away from his body and winced at the sound of pee hitting the floor. He reached the bathroom, took her little pink t-shirt off and placed her in her baby seat. He took her wash cloth and cleaned her up, feeling exhausted. He pulled his t-shirt off and threw it in the hamper. He picked up the pink towel and took her out of the bath, rubbing her dry. She nuzzled her face in his chest and he chuckled at how quickly her mood changed.

"Da!" she sighed.

"Come on baby girl. Time for dinner and then bed."

* * *

Logan awoke the next day and smiled. Marie would be home soon. He sat up and stretched, before climbing out of bed and heading towards the shower. After a long hot shower, he dressed in the usual jeans and t-shirt, before walking into Bailey's room. Bailey was wide awake, calmly sucking on her pacifier, staring up at him.

"Hey munchkin. Gonna be a good girl today?"

She gurgled and reached up, tiny fingers grabbing for him. He picked her up and breathed in her scent before taking off her pajamas and dressed her in a green dress with little ducks on. He then walked out of the room and towards the kitchen where several students were rushing to get breakfast. They gave him a wide berth as he went to the usual table he and Marie sat at. Bailey's baby seat was already set up there and never moved. He placed her in her seat and gratefully accepted a bowl of baby food from Hank.

"Thanks Furball."

"No thanks needed, my friend. "

"Listen, I need to call Marie. Could you-"

"Of course."

Logan nodded in thanks and took out his phone, heading into the pantry for privacy. He pressed number one on speed dial and waited. After six rings, a groggy Marie growled into the phone.

"Hey baby."

"What?"

"Hey, is that any way to greet your husband?"

"Sugar, my head hurts and I've been asleep for the past two hours."

"That's what happens you party all night."

"Fuck you. What do you need?"

"Bailey's out of diapers."

"What? I'm sure I left enough. Have you been putting them on wrong or something?"

"No, Marie. Our child seems to like ripping them off every time I turn my back."

"Well... just go buy more."

"You mean go to the store? By myself?"

"No Logan. Take Bailey."

"That's even worse."

"Look I can't think right now. Take Bailey to the store, get the damn diapers and call me after twelve."

"But-"

There was a click indicating she had put the phone down. Logan growled and shoved his own phone in his pocket. He walked back into the kitchen, caught sight of Hank covered in baby food and shook his head. Bailey was banging her fists on her baby seat, bowl of food on the floor.

"Did she at least eat something?"

Hank nodded, while trying to clean his fur. Logan picked up Bailey and carried her back out the kitchen.

"You take after your mother kid."

* * *

Logan looked at the shopping list and sighed. Marie was enjoying this, he just knew it. This was torture for forgetting their anniversary last month. Scrubbing a hand over his face and grabbed the milk beside him. He looked up at Bailey and his eyes widened. The kid had a block of cheese in her hand and there was a huge bite mark at the top.

"Aw, hell."

He reached forward and took the cheese away from her. She pouted and he quickly shoved her pacifier in her mouth. She tried to get the cheese, which he had thrown in the shopping cart. He closed his eyes for a second before glancing at the list again. He looked over at the different aisles and found the sign that indicated where the baby things were. There was a crash and he heard the telltale whimper. This was where Marie usually went 'uh-oh' and told Bailey off in a baby voice. But Logan had had enough. He looked over where Bailey had dropped a bottle of milk and plucked her from the baby-seat.

"Now listen kid. It's time you behaved. No more of this-"

"Choo!"

Logan froze, looking where Bailey had sneezed on him, cheese and spit all over his t-shirt. Growling he left the cart where it was, snatched up the baby bag and headed out of the store. He got to the car, strapped her in the baby seat and took off home. As he arrived at the mansion his phone rang. The caller ID showed Marie and he growled.

"What!" he snapped.

"I'm sorry sugar. I was too hung over to think when you called."

"Apology accepted darlin'."

"Scott has spare diapers, he's put them in our room. Do me a favour and feel Bailey's forehead."

Logan reached out and touched the kid's forehead. It was hot, rather than warm as it had been yesterday.

"She's burning up."

"I thought so. She's only that irritable when she's coming down with something."

"Says you."

"Give her to Hank, he should be able to take care of her."

"What!"

"You never wanted to look after her in the first place!"

"Because she never behaves!"

"She's a baby!"

Logan growled and put down the phone. He parked in the garage and leaned over to un-strap Bailey. He kissed her forehead and looked at her scowling face. He chuckled and headed upstairs with her.

* * *

Marie walked up the steps of the mansion, hurrying towards her room. She flung open the door and kicked off her high heels, freezing as she looked up. Logan was asleep on his chair, shirt off and Bailey, clad only in her diaper, was curled on his chest, also asleep. Marie closed the door to their room quietly and placed her bag by the wardrobe. She walked slowly towards her family and perched on the edge of the chair. Logan's eyes flickered open and he smiled at her.

"Hey darlin'."

"Hey sugar... I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I know I don't spend much time with the kid, but that doesn't mean I don't love her."

"I know. How is she?"

"Better. Hank gave her some medicine to stop the pain. It's just a little cold."

Marie smiled and placed a kiss on Bailey's cheek and then kissed Logan. His free arm snaked around her waist and he pulled her onto his lap. She placed her arm over Bailey and snuggled closer to them.

"I love you." She whispered.

"Love you too Marie."

She looked at her daughter, smiling at how peaceful the little girl looked. It was the same when Bailey was born, whenever she was upset, skin contact calmed her down. Back then, even though Marie could control her power, she'd been too scared to touch Bailey. Logan was the one that helped her through it by putting the baby in her arms when she was in the bath, giving her no time to keep her skin away. From then on, whenever Bailey was upset, they'd cradle her to their chests, and soothe her to sleep.

"Choo!"

Marie giggled and looked at her little girl, who was now wide awake.

"Hey baby girl."

Bailey smiled and gurgled happily. Logan handed Marie a tissue and she reached forward to wipe Bailey's nose. Bailey turned away and ground her nose in Logan's chest. Marie heard Logan sigh and when she looked up at him he was looking up at the ceiling. Marie giggled and patted his chest.

"You think she's trouble now, wait until she hits thirteen. That's the boy phase."

All she got in reply was a low growl from Logan and a giggle from Bailey.


End file.
